“Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital”, and boy are we seeing a heck of a bikini in the new survey just out. I haven’t seen something looking this bad in a bikini since my recent ill-advised attempt to truss it up and push it out on the French Riviera. Apparently 35% of us feel that Cameron has more potential as PM to GB’s 32%. Brown then rates 8% below Cameron in honesty – that would be like being told you were more smarmy than Jim Davidson. But worst of all to me is that Brown was 21% ahead of Cameron in the “I Am More Arrogant” stakes. Now it is a sorry state of affairs when you are deemed more arrogant than a floppy-haired toff from Eton – oh the shame!!!!!!!!!!
It’s bad enough that it looks like we’re going to have to choose between the dour Gordon (and please do not give me that “he is just a quiet man” cr*p); and Cameron who reminds one of a second-string newsreader from Waco,Texas (I’m sure he’s a nice enough man but all that grinning makes him look simple and someone should tell him to stop). And I am not a purist – I am old enough and ugly enough to know there is no such a thing as The Perfect Politican. At some point after you gain your majority you need to have a conversation with yourself regarding what faults you are willing to live with in your politicians.
Personally I don’t care about their sex lives. What they get up to (as long as it is not with me though allegedly/possibly/maybe on occasion one or two of them have tried) in the privacy of their own local parkbench is fine with me. Just note to MP’s – fess up, don’t have your wife come behind and make excuses for why you do what you do – I understand she needs to save face but it just makes you look like you are an idiot – on top of being a miscreant.
So I guess what we have to do now is take a good long hard look at both Mr.Brown and Mr.Cameron and decide which we find less nauseating/frightening/bordering on the incompetent. At this stage my vote —- and I canNOT believe I am saying this —- goes to DC, but he really is going to need to pop over for an absinthe so we can discuss my ideas re his cabinet. He is going to need some help and I think I’m just the woman…………………..
4 Comments
September 23, 2006 at 11:48 pm
Great article. I’m still chuckling to myself.
September 24, 2006 at 9:48 pm
I think you should change your name to Morag the Magnificent after that piece of political analysis!
October 2, 2006 at 1:12 pm
DAMN!! Where was The Observer when Morag was trying to come up with a proper surname
Aaaaah well I shall put this up over my mirror….we should all aspire to Magnificence 
October 7, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Ah, well, if you knew my real identity, Morag, you would have come up with that identity pretty quickly