“BOURNEMOUTH – I HAVEN’T HAD THAT MUCH FUN SINCE THE 14 SHOTS OF TEQUILLA”

Despite rumours to the contrary Morag is actually a card-carrying grown up person. As a Conservative at heart she believes in doing it herself, whatever ‘it’ she turns her hand to therefore she is taking this going from Leftie to Rightie business very seriously. This means research, research, research. Well what better opportunity to learn about The Conservative Party than Conference?

There was mention of Morag packing a couple of quarts of absinthe in her leopard carry-all and heading to Bournemouth but in normal Scout-style she decided she needed more experience under her belt before she sallied forth in public. You see a fair few might know Morag from other quarters, her presence might be noted, and she didn’t want to make a total twit of herself straight away. So in the Mindbender household Conference 2006 was designated time for ‘observing the animal in its natural habitat’ from the safety of her study. With this in mind Morag went to M&S, loaded up a trolley, put the phone on Message, then settled herself in with notepad and pen in hand to observe her New Best Friends at work.

Well where do you start really? What a difference between this group and the lot who were recently in Brighton! From a Behavioural Observationist point of view Morag can tell you that contrary to what the other side would have us believe there is a huge range of people in the Conservative Party. Yes you do have your middle-aged, Middle England contingent – and there’s nothing wrong with that but you also have all other sorts present in their glory. Very young, very old and all points inbetween. People who looked like they arrived in the back of a Bentley, people who looked like they arrived in the back of a bus. Captains of industry, busdrivers and all points inbetween.

If you had to say what the face of the Conservative Party looks like in 2006 you’d be hard put to decide. It could be any colour, either gender, any age and any bank account – if I were involved in Party Profile that is one of the first things I would address. Getting the Undecided to see that the Conservative Party of today has (in street vernacular) ‘a lot more going on’ than the Leftie-media leads us to believe.

The other thing that struck me, I mean Morag, was the difference in mood. Other than Gordon Brown’s baring of fangs there really wasn’t a lot of smiling going on in Brighton. These Conservatives know how to have a good laugh I can tell you that – oh that’s right you already know that. For obvious reasons I have always been a huge Boris fan – even sent away for a Boris For PM t-shirt ๐Ÿ™‚ but it was a joy to discover the likes of Theresa May (note to self – arrange a meetup), thrilled to see Matthew Parris front and center (have been a huge fan for years) – and of course my role model Miss Widdecombe who I once had the pleasure to meet in the Green Room of a morning television programme and have been inching towards tweed ever since. There was laughing, lots of laughing – now some might say there’s no room for laughing, politics is a serious business – Morag doesn’t agree. If you are having a good time while you’re doing your job you’ll do a better job.

Also there wasn’t that ‘clutch onto your handbag and cover your back’ feeling so present in Brighton. There was an overwhelming sense of a group of people banded together who could possibly accomplish something if given the chance. There was an infectious spirit, none of that whining, moaning Labour bleat. And a feeling that there was room for everyone. That no matter what your interest or inclination there would be something there for you to get your teeth stuck into. Manners, lovely manners. None of that screaming and shouting foolishness – you disagreed with someone, you came up to the microphone and said what you had to say.

Some of the highlights (Light Entertainment) : Anything Boris did :);Mark Menzies (twice) lightbulb presentation to a blushing Miss Widdecombe and lassooing Oliver Letwin in spectacular form; closeups of Theresa May’s shoes

Some of the hightlights (Inspirational) : Cheering for Cameron; anything by William Hague; Camila’s speech on what we need to address re all our youth not just some; Rosie Boycott’s from the heart discussion of the effects of alcohol in our society. And the general abundance of future leaders of our country – something I did not see while watching the Labour conference. And who could forget the old dear who stood up during the “Is Jamie Oliver a National Treasure” debate and waxed eloquent about the joys of water (?). What was inspirational about that? The fact that we let her. That we listened to her, we respected her, we responded to her. That showed me more than anything what the Party is really all about – a voice for all.

We were informed/entertained/our horizons broadened by the likes of William Hague to the likes of Zac Goldsmith. I’ve warmed towards IDS (who would have thought), most importantly I have FINALLY figured out how best to put my profile and experience to work for the Conservatives. I now know who to call and what to volunteer for, huge relief. And I now believe, beyond any shadow of a doubt – that I’ve made the right choice by coming to join you. More importantly I now have the ammunition to defend my new stance. So if anyone is listening – Morag is ready willing and able – she works hard, has a good heart and will be a good soldier. Private Morag T. Mindbender reporting for duty………………..

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14 Comments

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14 responses to ““BOURNEMOUTH – I HAVEN’T HAD THAT MUCH FUN SINCE THE 14 SHOTS OF TEQUILLA”

  1. The Fisherman

    Private M.T. Mindbender … what a picture.

    First, it was fishnets; now it is uniform.

    Would love to see Morag in tweed, though.

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