THE POLITICALLY CORRECT GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS POSTURING
“Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best
wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress,
non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the
religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious
or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a
fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated
onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not
limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are
extended without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical
ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual
preference of the wishee(s)”.
MORAG’S GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS CARRY-ON
Morag has to hold her hand up and say she is a true Christmas Bunny. Loves everything about Christmas and neery a bah-humbug escapes from her lips. At the crack of sparrow today Morag decided to brave the crowds and venture forth early into the nearest M&S Food Hall to avoid The Curse of the Amateur Shopper. With Tall Child at the trolley and a determined ‘Don’t even THINK of messing with me’ attitude, Morag was through the aisles and at the checkout in next to no time.
I probably spend more time than I should in say emporium so am on nodding acquaintance with most of the staff. Due to my Man on a Mission approach my 17 containers of brandy butter and one packet of broccoli were packed and boxed for collection in record time. Pin-number checked in and I am in an ‘all’s right with the world kind of a mood’ so before departing I cheerily say to Lovely-Indian-Lady-Usually-At-Checkout-9 “Merry Christmas!”
…. Immediately the noise level in Brent Cross M&S went from North London’s answer to the Tower of Babel to Boxing Day in Santa’s Workshop – you could hear a pin drop. The woman in the queue behind me actually started to blush!
Lovely-Indian-Lady-Usually-At-Checkout-9 looked around, shrugged her shoulders, handed me back my well-worn bit of plastic and said “You too!”. But not before giving me That Secret Look – the look that implies ‘at least YOU have some sense and aren’t like all these pillocks’.
Here’s the word from the trenches people – because someone looks different than you do doesn’t mean they’re not Christian. Just because someone isn’t Christian doesn’t mean they don’t celebrate Christmas on some level. Morag and Tall Child are continuing their tradition of going to Jubilant Jews for Christmas lunch and will then move on to Mild-Mannered Muslims for Christmas pudding.
Yes Christmas is to many a religious holiday – it has also come to symbolise to many a spirit of ‘peace on earth and good will to ALL mankind’. Not just the mankind we like.
So the next time over the next few days that you feel the urge to be proud to be Christian, or just happy to be a member of the human race say whatever you want to whoever you want, it’s the smile that goes along with it that’s important.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL… ( and a year of good nights )
*******AM CURRENTLY HAVING A SPOT OF BOTHER GETTING BLOGROLLING TO WORK WITH WORDPRESS.COM. THE PERSON WHO CAN SORT IT OUT IS CURRENTLY OFF HAVING TURKEY AND CRANBERRY SAUCE SO HANG TIGHT AND YOU’LL SOON SEE LOTS OF NEW NAMES ON MORAG’S BLOGROLL. APOLOGIES AND THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT.